It's cold outside y'all! So let's have a little humor to warm us up shall we?
I adore comedy. It's like the best medicine in the whole world. You find that movie that makes you giggle and turn it on. It's like a whole new world. Your kid does something that just makes you laugh so hard--it's like nothing bad ever happened. Comedy is food for the sad soul.
I like to think I've always had a humorous streak. I think that's what happens to the kids who can survive being picked on--well, one of the things. If they survive being bullied they either become bullies or they learn to laugh about it. I don't ever want to become a bully. So I choose to laugh about it all.
When I was little, I was ridiculed for my fat belly and my four-eyes: typical stuff to pick on kids about back then. I was called a large number of names--fatty, four-eyes, nerd, oh and my favorite Mickey Pig. Mickey Pig was because I talked like Mickey Mouse and looked like Porky Pig. Sometimes the kids would change it up and call me Porky Mouse. I have to give it to them for the originality. That slowed down after middle school. Because of course in high school it was not quite as "dignified" to call someone names like that. Those names became more like slut, whore, and oh my favorite then was "white girl", because I acted like a white girl. Slut and whore because I had male friends and their girlfriends didn't understand it--I MUST be sleeping with them right?
Wait a minute, I know what you're thinking...NONE OF THIS IS FUNNY. There's a point to all this, bear with me.
As I said previously, you either learn to laugh about it or you become psychotic. I'm saying all this now because I can laugh about it. There were so many things that happened in my young life that I've just learned to turn into comedy. Being poor, being fat, having a kid straight out of college, getting fired from a job--all of these things make amazing comedic stories. You see, the best comedy comes from real life. Most people know this now, with the not to long ago death of Robin Williams--most comedian hide their true hurt behind the comedy that they create. It's a sad thing, but very true.
Anyway, I love comedy. I love to tell jokes. I love to tell stories about my childhood because as I said before, humor is good for the soul. Not only does it make everyone else around you laugh but it allows you to RELEASE that pain. Release is a great word. Whenever I say it, I just want to take a big breath. Do it with me. R-E-L-E-A-S-E...and breathe.
Feels good doesn't it?
So I tell the stories of my childhood, I tell the stories of my teenage years, I tell the stories of my college life and now I tell the stories in my adult life as a parent. And I do all of this with humor. The silly nicknames (Buckwheat, Mickey Pig, White Girl), the crappy meals we ate (Mama, how many ways can you feed us corn?), the horrible job when I locked my keys in the car on the hottest day of the summer (oh yeah, that was funny--at least I was at the KFC and could have some hot wings while I waited), the time I turned my back and my infant son put peas up his nose (nothing to do there but to just put your mouth over the nostrils and slurp!)--it's all GOOD.
The important thing to remember is that how you deal with your own life and your own emotions is UP TO YOU. Me, I choose to laugh about it. Because when I can make someone else laugh, it makes me feel good. Doesn't really matter if at the time of the event I was sad, or hurt, or disappointed. The point is, I survived it and now I can laugh about it.
So remember, there's nothing in this life that can bring you down unless you LET IT. If yesterday was your crappy day, laugh about it now. Because you SURVIVED it. If today is starting out to be a crappy day, push through and tomorrow will be a new day.
Smile, and release!
Thursday, January 18, 2018
Friday, January 12, 2018
100 things part 54--secret dancer
Forgive me mother if I offend you but, I remember this story just this way:
When I was little, I told my mother I wanted to be a ballerina and she told me I was too fat. I wasn't offended about the fat part, just about not being a dancer. So I took out the "B" of our very old collection of encyclopedias and looked up ballet and begin to practice the positions. That was roughly as far as I got. I would just practice alone, over and over again.
I never took a dance class and I don't have any professional training at all. But I really love to dance.
Most of the time, I do it alone. It used to be on the stage at the opera house, when it was quiet and there was no one there. Or in the rehearsal hall upstairs. But now, I do it in my bedroom or in the living room when no ones home.
By no means do I attest to having some sort of skill. I have friends who are real dancers, professional dancers, and I give them all the props for taking care of their bodies, for perfecting their skills, and for being so unbelievably beautiful when they dance.
For me, it's just about release. Just finding that one song and letting your body do what it wants to do. I don't have a style or any particular type of dance that I do, I just dance.
I've had some really good moments out in public with my friends where I've just kind of let go and let myself enjoy the dance floor. It doesn't happen often--used to be mostly at the opera opening night parties. And I would just laugh and enjoy myself because it really doesn't matter what you look like, just as long as you're having fun.
I long to have some real training someday. You'd think at this point in my life with as many dancer friends as I have, I would have grabbed one of them and said, teach me something! But no: for now I'm content just letting my awkward body do what it does.
Jay has caught me dancing in his garage sometimes when I'm there and that doesn't bother me so much. I mean, if you can't dance awkwardly in front of your best friend, who can you dance awkwardly in front of, right? But he knows that's just me having my moment and he lets me be. If my kids catch me dancing I try to turn it into something fun so that they can join in, because nothing is more fun than sharing a dance with your kids. My husband isn't really a dancer, but when he does break it down, it is rather amusing!
Dancing to me is another one of those universal languages that allows people to unite without criticism or judgements. It's one of those things that sometimes you just need to do to release tension, or to celebrate, or just have a moment all to yourself. That quote "dance like no one is watching" it means something to me. To me it means just take your music and your body and let yourself go.
As I'm writing this, I'm having a hard time remembering when the last time it was that I had myself a dancing moment. I'm at work now, so it certainly won't be within the next few hours. But I think I'll take a moment tonight for just me and dance it out. I even have a song picked. Listen to this and see if you can resist moving your feet. Have a wonderful day! I love you all!
When I was little, I told my mother I wanted to be a ballerina and she told me I was too fat. I wasn't offended about the fat part, just about not being a dancer. So I took out the "B" of our very old collection of encyclopedias and looked up ballet and begin to practice the positions. That was roughly as far as I got. I would just practice alone, over and over again.
I never took a dance class and I don't have any professional training at all. But I really love to dance.
Most of the time, I do it alone. It used to be on the stage at the opera house, when it was quiet and there was no one there. Or in the rehearsal hall upstairs. But now, I do it in my bedroom or in the living room when no ones home.
By no means do I attest to having some sort of skill. I have friends who are real dancers, professional dancers, and I give them all the props for taking care of their bodies, for perfecting their skills, and for being so unbelievably beautiful when they dance.
For me, it's just about release. Just finding that one song and letting your body do what it wants to do. I don't have a style or any particular type of dance that I do, I just dance.
I've had some really good moments out in public with my friends where I've just kind of let go and let myself enjoy the dance floor. It doesn't happen often--used to be mostly at the opera opening night parties. And I would just laugh and enjoy myself because it really doesn't matter what you look like, just as long as you're having fun.
I long to have some real training someday. You'd think at this point in my life with as many dancer friends as I have, I would have grabbed one of them and said, teach me something! But no: for now I'm content just letting my awkward body do what it does.
Jay has caught me dancing in his garage sometimes when I'm there and that doesn't bother me so much. I mean, if you can't dance awkwardly in front of your best friend, who can you dance awkwardly in front of, right? But he knows that's just me having my moment and he lets me be. If my kids catch me dancing I try to turn it into something fun so that they can join in, because nothing is more fun than sharing a dance with your kids. My husband isn't really a dancer, but when he does break it down, it is rather amusing!
Dancing to me is another one of those universal languages that allows people to unite without criticism or judgements. It's one of those things that sometimes you just need to do to release tension, or to celebrate, or just have a moment all to yourself. That quote "dance like no one is watching" it means something to me. To me it means just take your music and your body and let yourself go.
As I'm writing this, I'm having a hard time remembering when the last time it was that I had myself a dancing moment. I'm at work now, so it certainly won't be within the next few hours. But I think I'll take a moment tonight for just me and dance it out. I even have a song picked. Listen to this and see if you can resist moving your feet. Have a wonderful day! I love you all!
Thursday, January 11, 2018
100 things part 53--my heart
I love my heart
I love the way she gets involved in my business, like she is the end-all of be all of everything in my life.
I love how she likes to tell me what I should do and when.
I love how she gets excited when she knows I'm excited about something.
Like when I see beautiful lighting, she does a little dance.
Or when there's a baby in the room, she jumps so hard I think she wants to hold the baby too.
And don't even get her started on food...man, when she sees fried chicken, she just spins around!
My heart is so sensitive though
She knows when she is under attack.
And she doesn't do a very good job of blocking.
She just lets anyone in all the time, like the front door of a 7-11.
She doesn't mind if that person has been there before, stole stuff, and then left.
She just wants people to keep coming back.
But if there's one thing my heart knows how to do more than any other part of me--
She is relentless.
She never gives up.
She will jump into a ring, get knocked out and be ready to fight again.
It may take her a little while, and she does get bruised in the process.
But don't discount her.
She will be back.
And she will keep right on loving.
She's one of the best parts of me.
She definitely keeps me on my toes.
Without her, I would be lost.
When she's sad, it's like the world is ending.
But I try to do things to keep her smiling.
Like coloring and writing this blog.
And when I'm in the outdoors, she gets so happy to feel the sun.
At night we lay quietly and think about our day.
We share together our adventures and think about how to make the next day better.
She tells me she loves me and I am so content
Because I know she does, more than anyone else in the whole world.
As long as I have her love, I know I'll be alright.
I love the way she gets involved in my business, like she is the end-all of be all of everything in my life.
I love how she likes to tell me what I should do and when.
I love how she gets excited when she knows I'm excited about something.
Like when I see beautiful lighting, she does a little dance.
Or when there's a baby in the room, she jumps so hard I think she wants to hold the baby too.
And don't even get her started on food...man, when she sees fried chicken, she just spins around!
My heart is so sensitive though
She knows when she is under attack.
And she doesn't do a very good job of blocking.
She just lets anyone in all the time, like the front door of a 7-11.
She doesn't mind if that person has been there before, stole stuff, and then left.
She just wants people to keep coming back.
But if there's one thing my heart knows how to do more than any other part of me--
She is relentless.
She never gives up.
She will jump into a ring, get knocked out and be ready to fight again.
It may take her a little while, and she does get bruised in the process.
But don't discount her.
She will be back.
And she will keep right on loving.
She's one of the best parts of me.
She definitely keeps me on my toes.
Without her, I would be lost.
When she's sad, it's like the world is ending.
But I try to do things to keep her smiling.
Like coloring and writing this blog.
And when I'm in the outdoors, she gets so happy to feel the sun.
At night we lay quietly and think about our day.
We share together our adventures and think about how to make the next day better.
She tells me she loves me and I am so content
Because I know she does, more than anyone else in the whole world.
As long as I have her love, I know I'll be alright.
100 things part 52--sense of adventure
Here recently in the last few months I have realized that I am a lot closer to many of the places I've wanted to travel to for so long.
For most people, when they talk or talked about going somewhere they just did it. In my youth, I remember hearing about my friends traveling off to places, different states and different countries, going on cruises and such. As for me I won't say I've never been ANYWHERE...as a matter of fact, if I had to name all the states I've been to, it would probably look something like this:
So I haven't been to a LOT of places but, I think I'm getting there. I just recently added NY and NJ to the list as of this weekend actually!
I've become fascinated with local travel. Living in the city has definitely opened my eyes to how easy it is to hop on buses and trains. When I first moved here, the idea of taking a bus and a train to work was actually a little scary. Now I love it! I love that I can go pretty much anywhere on a bus/train.
Where I grew up, there were no buses/trains that could take you into the city. As I said before, we lived in the country--it was a good 8 mile drive to get into "town" and then another 5 miles from there to get to decent shopping. Everywhere I worked was forever a mile away when I lived in Suffolk. When I moved from Suffolk to Newport News it was a small culture shock just being near a store without having to go 15 miles to get there. So just imagine my face when I moved to Northern VA and wandered into Washington, D.C. Talk about culture shock!
In any case, I have enjoyed experiencing my environment as well as other environments. With my family being down to one car, getting around on public transportation has been a must. Also, traveling on bus to other locations such as back to Norfolk and most recently up to New York City is so cheap and convenient.
My mother was worried of course when I said I was going to hop on a Greyhound bus. I mean, I suppose they don't have the best reputation but hey, for 20 bucks, I can get back to Norfolk. I'm all about cheap, and as long as I don't die I'm alright!
What actually scared me most about moving up here wasn't the buses or the trains, it was Uber. Hopping into someone's car and having them drive you somewhere. That actually made me the most nervous. But boy am I glad they exist. Between the NYC cabs and the Uber, I'll take the Uber!
In any case, what I've learned thus far is like most things in life if you want to do something just do it! I have lived so long just making excuses for not going to this place or that place and I am ready to get out and see the world. So do yourself a favor--get out and go somewhere!
For most people, when they talk or talked about going somewhere they just did it. In my youth, I remember hearing about my friends traveling off to places, different states and different countries, going on cruises and such. As for me I won't say I've never been ANYWHERE...as a matter of fact, if I had to name all the states I've been to, it would probably look something like this:
So I haven't been to a LOT of places but, I think I'm getting there. I just recently added NY and NJ to the list as of this weekend actually!
I've become fascinated with local travel. Living in the city has definitely opened my eyes to how easy it is to hop on buses and trains. When I first moved here, the idea of taking a bus and a train to work was actually a little scary. Now I love it! I love that I can go pretty much anywhere on a bus/train.
Where I grew up, there were no buses/trains that could take you into the city. As I said before, we lived in the country--it was a good 8 mile drive to get into "town" and then another 5 miles from there to get to decent shopping. Everywhere I worked was forever a mile away when I lived in Suffolk. When I moved from Suffolk to Newport News it was a small culture shock just being near a store without having to go 15 miles to get there. So just imagine my face when I moved to Northern VA and wandered into Washington, D.C. Talk about culture shock!
In any case, I have enjoyed experiencing my environment as well as other environments. With my family being down to one car, getting around on public transportation has been a must. Also, traveling on bus to other locations such as back to Norfolk and most recently up to New York City is so cheap and convenient.
My mother was worried of course when I said I was going to hop on a Greyhound bus. I mean, I suppose they don't have the best reputation but hey, for 20 bucks, I can get back to Norfolk. I'm all about cheap, and as long as I don't die I'm alright!
What actually scared me most about moving up here wasn't the buses or the trains, it was Uber. Hopping into someone's car and having them drive you somewhere. That actually made me the most nervous. But boy am I glad they exist. Between the NYC cabs and the Uber, I'll take the Uber!
In any case, what I've learned thus far is like most things in life if you want to do something just do it! I have lived so long just making excuses for not going to this place or that place and I am ready to get out and see the world. So do yourself a favor--get out and go somewhere!
Thursday, January 4, 2018
100 things part 51...being a dreamer
Sometimes, people will say that dreaming is dangerous. But there's nothing wrong with dreaming, honestly. As long as you remember this; dreams can be goals, goals are never fantasies, and fantasies are nightmares. There's a point to that, keep reading.
I've done a lot of dreaming in my life. I don't just mean at night. I mean in life, day to day. The things I've dreamed of have been related to personal and professional dreams. One of the exciting things about dreaming is when you can actually make that dream come to life--like the job you always wanted, that car you worked so hard for that you cut pictures out and posted on your wall. In my old townhouse we had a dream board, where we would cut out pictures of things we wanted and post them there. That's dreaming towards a goal.
When you were a child, you may have dreamed about who you want to be when you grow up. You imagine yourself as a teacher, a firefighter, or a doctor...or something similar to that. At least when I was a child, that's what most kids around me dreamed of. What did I dream of being? I didn't dream of being anything. Quite frankly, I was told what I was going to be at different points in my lifetime. "Oh, you should be a teacher, you're so smart". "Oh, you should be a lawyer, 'cause you love to argue." "Look at you, you're gonna be my Miss America!". Now don't get me wrong, parents and adults are always going to do that--they're going to look at you as a child and aspire you to be everything they couldn't themselves be. That's just the norm of being a grown-up. But when I was little, I couldn't even dream about what I wanted to be when I was older, because all I knew was what everyone else said--teach, sing, lead--I didn't know what I wanted to be.
I mostly dreamed about monsters. There was this one dream I can remember clearly about being chased from my Great-Grandmother's house, up the path, and around the back of my mother's house. I would turn around and he would throw up on me. Then I would wake up. I consistently had that dream until I was about 18 years old. Now I've looked into this and what I found in my research is that being chased by monsters in a dream is perceived as the constant avoidance of something. Hmm. A child. Avoiding something? No wonder kids always dream monsters! Anyway enough of that. What is really the point here?
The point I want to make is that dreaming is NORMAL. I spoke in a prior blog about dreaming of living in a white house, with a wrap-around porch and a picket fence. I'm not going to stop dreaming about that because dreams can also be goals. I dreamed once of being able to design something that was seen by thousands of people--I've done that. I dreamed of being able to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans--I've done that too. Dreams can be goals, but goals are never fantasies, and fantasies are nightmares. I had a friend once who told me to stop dreaming--no I didn't tell him off. What he failed to understand is that dreaming is a more exciting way of saying pensive preparation; see how much harder that is to say?
I love to dream because dreams bring hope. As quoted from my favorite movie, Shawshank Redemption--"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies". Andy had a point when he said this. He dreamed of escaping and he made it to the other side. No matter how many people tried to discourage his hopes and dreams, he kept on going.
I say this, keep on going. Keep on dreaming. There's a lot of things that you can lose, that people can take from you. But no one can take away your dreams.
I've done a lot of dreaming in my life. I don't just mean at night. I mean in life, day to day. The things I've dreamed of have been related to personal and professional dreams. One of the exciting things about dreaming is when you can actually make that dream come to life--like the job you always wanted, that car you worked so hard for that you cut pictures out and posted on your wall. In my old townhouse we had a dream board, where we would cut out pictures of things we wanted and post them there. That's dreaming towards a goal.
When you were a child, you may have dreamed about who you want to be when you grow up. You imagine yourself as a teacher, a firefighter, or a doctor...or something similar to that. At least when I was a child, that's what most kids around me dreamed of. What did I dream of being? I didn't dream of being anything. Quite frankly, I was told what I was going to be at different points in my lifetime. "Oh, you should be a teacher, you're so smart". "Oh, you should be a lawyer, 'cause you love to argue." "Look at you, you're gonna be my Miss America!". Now don't get me wrong, parents and adults are always going to do that--they're going to look at you as a child and aspire you to be everything they couldn't themselves be. That's just the norm of being a grown-up. But when I was little, I couldn't even dream about what I wanted to be when I was older, because all I knew was what everyone else said--teach, sing, lead--I didn't know what I wanted to be.
I mostly dreamed about monsters. There was this one dream I can remember clearly about being chased from my Great-Grandmother's house, up the path, and around the back of my mother's house. I would turn around and he would throw up on me. Then I would wake up. I consistently had that dream until I was about 18 years old. Now I've looked into this and what I found in my research is that being chased by monsters in a dream is perceived as the constant avoidance of something. Hmm. A child. Avoiding something? No wonder kids always dream monsters! Anyway enough of that. What is really the point here?
The point I want to make is that dreaming is NORMAL. I spoke in a prior blog about dreaming of living in a white house, with a wrap-around porch and a picket fence. I'm not going to stop dreaming about that because dreams can also be goals. I dreamed once of being able to design something that was seen by thousands of people--I've done that. I dreamed of being able to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans--I've done that too. Dreams can be goals, but goals are never fantasies, and fantasies are nightmares. I had a friend once who told me to stop dreaming--no I didn't tell him off. What he failed to understand is that dreaming is a more exciting way of saying pensive preparation; see how much harder that is to say?
I love to dream because dreams bring hope. As quoted from my favorite movie, Shawshank Redemption--"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies". Andy had a point when he said this. He dreamed of escaping and he made it to the other side. No matter how many people tried to discourage his hopes and dreams, he kept on going.
I say this, keep on going. Keep on dreaming. There's a lot of things that you can lose, that people can take from you. But no one can take away your dreams.
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