New project: 100 things (Post 1 of who knows how many)

In coming to terms with many things in my life, I came to the realization that I need to start loving myself as much as the people who surround me do. I feel it is a great disservice for me to expect love from others if I am not able to see the things that people love about me. So this is my new project: 100 things I love about me.

1. That I love. Period.

Some people can go their whole lives and not even understand how to love another person. They don't know what it even means let alone how to display it in a cohesive way.

So what does it mean to love?

A random definition says "an intense feeling or deep affection". 

Well that at least sums up the chemical part of it all.

But that's what it's really all about. It's a feeling. If you aren't loving for the pure excitement of it all then you're not doing it right.

I feel love when I am doing things for other people. From babysitting twins while my bestie runs to the store, to helping my daughter build a paper doll house. Even giving the man on the corner my last dollar--that smile is priceless! Inside I feel warm--elated. Like a toasted marshmallow.

Ok maybe not that, cause those get burned sometimes.

But sometimes, you feel burned when you love. When you give love and it isn't reciprocated, it feels like a cold, hard fire. The hardest part is turning that coldness into a feeling of warmth. When you love something just a little or even so deeply, most people when they don't visually SEE the reciprocation, they decide that love isn't worth it. But when you love truly and honestly, the effect of that isn't always VISUAL. Most people remember those feelings when they are down. The homeless man who hasn't had a meal in weeks will remember that there are people out there who do care and it gives him HOPE. Your kids will remember when they get older the times that Mommy spent helping them make something awesome. And your best friend will be so grateful to know that they are never alone.

So I do. I love. I give as much as I can in all the ways I can. Because when I'm down, I can look back and remember that warm and toasty feeling inside. I can't imagine life without love.

And in case no one has said it to you today, yesterday, or so long you can't remember: I love you.