100 Things part 2--My body
WARNING: This post will talk about how I feel about MY body. I'm going to talk about things that may or may not make you feel awkward. But you must understand that in order to love yourself, you have to accept the shell in which you are in. This is me accepting my shell.
So I begin at the top with my hair.
2. My hair.
In the past I have HATED my hair. From the time I was a small child, I was so envious of my mother's beautiful hair. My hair was thick and awkward and I didn't like it. So for years I struggled trying to find a way to love my hair. I cut it, dyed it, relaxed it, which of course destroyed it. And then about three years ago I decided to stop chemically processing my hair. I had a rough year for sure of really bad hair. But suddenly my hair has started to make me smile. It's so long I keep thinking there's a spider on my neck. I love how easy it is to manage and deal with. I spend not a lot of time on my hair anymore and I love that.
3. My brain
I must say, I think I'm pretty smart. I can linguistically run circles around the common person. I can logically and creatively look at something and break it down in so many different ways. I love how my brain enables me to write, read, and translate in three different languages (sometimes four!). I love the way I think through things and process information. I enjoy how it enables me to see the bigger picture.
4. My face (in general)
Everyone struggles with their face in some fashion or another. Me, I've got quite a few flaws on my face. I grow hair on my face in places I don't like. I have a wicked scar on the right side of my face (right under my glasses) from when I was in a car accident. It's a little discolored in places. But it is my face. And I think it's beautiful.
5. My eyes
My eyes are brown. Medium brown. But my eyes are amazing. These eyes are trained to see and absorb so many things. I can look at a photo and tell you exactly where those lights are hung. I can look at a gel color and tell you exactly what it is (with the assistance of my awesome brain). I can look at nature and find it's beauty. I don't know what I would do with out them.
6. My ears
I have supersonic ears. I can tell what a sound is so quickly. I know when my kids are jumping on the bed or playing with the blinds. But my ears also allow me to listen to a conversation completely. To hear every word in every sentence. I've been told by many that I am a good listener.
7. My arms
I am strong for a girl. I mean ridiculously strong. And I attribute that to my many years of opera and stagehand work. I always want to be able to carry my own weight. I love that I can lift and safely carry things made of wood and steel. I open all my own jars. And I give pretty good hugs!
8. My breasts
Now let's just be real for a second. They. are. big. I mean heavy. They hurt sometimes. They make my back hurt. They get in the way when I'm trying to crawl through things or get around things. Many of my shirts have a hole in the boob because I rubbed against something and my chest stuck out a little too far. BUT, they're mine. They are a part of me and have been a part of me for a long time, since I was in second grade. My shirts would be incomplete without them. I look good in a low-cut shirt. I mean really good.
9. My hands
Ahhh, my most prized possession. My hands are amazing. They are builders, writers, creators, teachers, and lovers. I can make anything. I can draw, I can color. I do art. I put together puzzles with them. My hands are my favorite tool because I know that with my hands there isn't anything I can't accomplish.
10. My legs
Now I'm only 5'5" but my legs are long. And I love that they are. I can find a pair of pants with no problem. I can hang out further on a truss or a pipe to reach things. And they are strong.
11. My rear view
So I am no Nikki Minaj or Beyonce but I do all right. Here's the thing, if people are looking then it must be worth looking at. I can't see it except in the mirror. But I can tell you this: I don't have any problems finding a pair of jeans that fit. And I am totally aware of the existence of my ass. Just like the top half, the bottom half of me finds it self poking out a little too far for some applications. But it does me just fine.
12. My feet
I am always on my feet. I mean constantly. I eat standing up, I work standing up. I rarely sit down to do even the most difficult tasks. They enable me to keep moving and going strong. I love their resilience. Even when they are tired, they are able to keep going.
13. My stomach
Now let's not get it twisted. I am carrying a load of extra weight around my mid-section. And I have stretch marks--quite a few. But they are the signs of a woman who has carried two babies full term. And proudly. So I don't show them off, but I know they are there. They don't make me ashamed. They make me feel bold, accomplished, and above all they are a sign that I will willingly sacrifice even my own body for my children.
Overall, I would say I'm built just right. It really doesn't matter to me what anyone thinks about how I look. Each one of these aspects of me is perfect. Flaws are what makes us different and I don't desire to look like anyone else but me.
If you can't love your body, no one else will. Embrace it. It's the only one you will ever have.
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