Kevin Smith is a homeless guy I met yesterday after receiving some emotionally devastating news.
I went to the gas station across the street from where I work and I was approached by Kevin Smith. He asked me for a cigarette and I told him I didn't have any. I walked into the store and I bought two Snickers candy bars (It was that kind of day). I paid with my two dollars and received change. When I came out of the store, he was still sitting there. I said to him, here's some change I just got back--would you like to have it? He said yes, thank you. Then he proceeded to tell me about his recent history: he just got out of prison up in New York and he had been down here homeless for about 10 days. He showed me where he had been sleeping, over by the bushes and I could tell he was truthful; there were bags and paper fashioned together like a bed. He told me he had an 18 month old baby. I asked him if he had seen his baby yet and he said no. I told him, you need to see your baby. They're what keep us going you know? He looked at me and said "you're a beautiful woman. I don't mean outside, I mean spiritually." I told him, I have God on my side. He then asked me if I had children and I said yes, I have two. Now Kevin Smith, not holding back, then proceeded to tell me that his baby needed a stepmother! I said, I'm already married love and I love my husband. He said, "I can tell that you do". He then said to me, "It's good that you know Jesus, but once you turn your back on him you may as well lay down and die." I told him he was right, to keep his head up and I was going to pray for him. I shook his hand and continued back to work.
Moments like these happen to me often. I find it somehow fulfilling to talk to the homeless; to help them if I can even. It just makes me feel so good inside. Those moments keep me going--they remind me that no matter how bad it may seem, there's always worse. Now I will admit that Kevin Smith smelled very heavily of alcohol and was probably compiling change to hit up the liquor store across the way. But as I told my husband this morning I said, when God wants him to stop drinking, He will give him a sign. Who am I to be his judge? If that little bottle keeps him going for another day, then so be it. It's his life.
I just had a flashback: when I was in high school, I used to volunteer at the homeless shelter in Suffolk where I grew up. At the time I was there, there were 15 homeless people living in that facility. 9 of them were children. When I became vice-president of the student government, I remember starting a food drive that was dedicated to donating food to the homeless shelter. I also participated in a clothing/coat drive for them as well. Working there reminded me then that there are so many people in this world who just fall upon unfortunate circumstances sometimes without warning. I remember looking at the playroom for the children--it looked like any other playroom you would see in a daycare or a school. I remember feeling sad and glad: sad that they were living there, but glad that there were people in this world who were willing to help them out. I remember thinking, I want to be like that too.
I want to thank Kevin Smith and those like him because they are really the eyes of truth. Those who have lost it all help us to see that life isn't all that bad. They've been through the bad; they've lost so much, if not everything already. It hurts me to have to say any of those things when all I really wish I could do is help them all. I want to give them my change, my lunch, whatever and I do when I can. I don't do it for praise or favor or even tokens into heaven. It's just a part of me, of who I am now. I wasn't always like this. I used to just ignore them, or be rude like most of society. But why? The universe put those people in my path for a reason. If you trip over a rock in the road, why not pick it up? There may be something underneath it--something that you've been searching for and didn't even know it.
I pray that Kevin Smith finds his way and the step mother he so longs for :)
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