Impatient

Today I'm having the worst trouble dealing with myself.

I'm very impatient. I've known this for a long time. I don't like to wait for things. I like to get out there and make it happen. I'm trying to find ways to deal with this. I try deep breathing, meditation, writing...all of those things seem to help. The problem is, I don't do it often enough. Or I forget to do it because I'm so irritated already. It's one of those things I'm learning to deal with.

I've also become very intolerable to the word "can't". That word is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I like to think everything is possible...anything is possible. I'm a strong believer in each of us being the creators of our universe. Therefore, whatever we dream can come to pass. Any thing you want, anything you need, it will be yours. When someone tells me they "can't "do something, I automatically label them "quitter". It's a big problem I have.

I want to think that these faults of mine are surmountable. They've just seemed to intensify in the last few years. I don't know if it's because I'm growing or because my kids are growing up. But I think they have caused me to lose touch with people in my life that I would normally communicate with.

If I'm going to keep changing, I hope it's for the better. I have to trust that in the ultimate plan of sculpting my own universe all of these things I consider faults are necessary. I don't believe this evolution of myself is negative and I hope those around me don't either.

It's just one of those things that happens I suppose.