100 things part 34--being a friend (or best friend)

I'll be the first to admit--I have a LOT of friends.

Most of them I chose, some of them just happened into my life as a happy accident. Both types are loved and welcomed.

My friends are multi-gendered, multi-colored, with multiple backgrounds, beliefs, and ideals. I love everything about all of this.

As a child, I will say the vast majority of my friends were Caucasian. I could not begin to tell you why but I suspect it had a lot to do with the fact that I "talked white". I got that a LOT. I didn't identify with the darker skinned kids I went to elementary school with I guess. I don't know. All I know is that I didn't have problem being friends with anyone. But a lot of people had problems being friends with me for their own sorted reasons or another.

In any case, the older I became, the more male friends I had. Again, no explanation as to why. I wasn't as feminine as my female friends I suppose. I wasn't cute enough to be their girlfriends but I was cool enough to hang out with. That was just fine with me. I had female friends I was very close with and they were the girls I basically grew up with. Amy and Lindsay B. have been a part of my life since around the age of 6/7 and they have both been a huge part of my life.

Stepping forward to college, I had many female friends (I did go to an all women's college). I didn't have any problems making friends there but I obviously was closer with my theatre ladies. They were the ones I spent the most time with. Susie, Bobbie, Kyle, Sarah, and countless other fierce theatre ladies that kept me going through even the most difficult of times.

In my post-college life, I fell into theatre again and two of my very best friends turned out to be men. Oddly enough I met them both at the same time. But one of them became my friend almost immediately. That would be my Bill--my amazing friend Bill, who I actually have seen the least over the last 10 or so years but has been so very wonderful to me in the last year. His friendship has never wavered, never broken, and never changed. This is highly invaluable to me and I return the favor in every opportunity I get. Within the first few months of meeting Bill, he bought me a Nintendo Gamecube (that I still have!) just so I would be able to play the new Legend of Zelda game when it came out. That's the kind of person Bill is--he remembers the little things. He's a wonderful listener. It was Bill who pushed me to venture away from the opera and go to Busch Gardens--without that, I would have not learned how to program moving lights. Bill moved away from Virginia years ago and I think we have seen each other two times since then. But it's always like we've never been apart.

I met Dave the same year I met Bill and I will honestly say, I don't remember when we became actual friends. Dave hired me to work at the opera and we were always "cool" with each other (except for that one time where he fired me--oh you knew I was going to say it). But I think it wasn't until after Dave came back to the opera many years later that we became truly dynamic. As a team, we were unstoppable always. We have the same work ethic, the same vision, the same...I could go on but I don't need to. I think you get the point. I always think of Dave outside of work like my big brother. The one I could go to if I needed someone to really take me down a notch. The one who knows how to put it into the right perspective. The one who knows exactly the right way to push me to be better. He's my brute--but that's perfect. There are very few people who know how to put me in my place and he's one of them. It's not always welcomed. but it's appreciated. When Dave became a father, I knew that it wasn't going to be easy. But I vowed that I would always be there to support him, never advise--because being a parent is really about learning what works best for you.

I save Jay for last because if you know me, you know I talk about this guy a lot. He's a special one that's for sure. Jay and I worked together at the opera and did so well together, eventually we started a production design company together--well, let me clear that one up a little. I actually had no interest in doing film work whatsoever. What I saw though was a dear friend, who was so passionate about this idea that I wanted to support them in as many ways as I could. So I became a partner and we did some really awesome things together (there's a prior blog that talks about this). We see a lot of things through the same eyes sometimes and it's pretty dynamic. Jay also is a parent and I love that we are able to "parent" each other's kids because we have the same beliefs. My kids even call him "Uncle Jay."

What I love most about being a friend is that I know what it feels like to have a good friend. So I always give my all to be the best and most supportive friend I can be. I know what I need out of a good friend so that's what I give. I'm the friend that will give you my last dollar if you're hungry. I'll drive you a million miles to a doctor if you're sick. I will baby-sit your kids even if I'm tired as hell just so you can have a moment to yourself. I remember your favorite foods, colors, drinks, and TV shows. I show up to your house and I will have a meal with you and wash my own dishes. I will watch movies I don't like just cause YOU do. I will spend hours in a store with you even if you don't buy a single thing. I know your phone number without looking in my phone because that's how important you are to me. I love to buy you that one thing you mentioned in a conversation many moons ago because even if you didn't remember it, I did.

Being a friend is just as important to me as any other relationship you could ever have in life. I don't know where I would be without my friends. I hope they feel the same!